The Struggle.

The struggle. I think we all have dealt with a serious struggle once or twice (or a million) times in our lives. I am definitely trying to navigate my way out of my current struggle. As my mind swirls with half a dozen directions to take this post, I will try to stay on track of what I really, really want to say.

First off, I realized over the past month or two that blogging really does make me feel better…more connected with my mind, body & soul. Writing a post for me is like have a lunch and long talk with a best girlfriend. I have lost my way with blogging, working out, 5k training and eating right and I don’t think I have ever been so….how do I put it? Um.

Lost.

I have had two months of “oh tomorrow is a new day, restart, I’ll kick ass tomorrow” days. I have never been more embarassed to be me. I am so unhappy with my body right now and it truly affects every single part of my life.

School started a couple weeks ago and my first class is on the 3rd floor. After my short hike from the parking lot and up 2.5 flights of stairs, I am breathless, tired and sweaty.

I became that girl.  

I became the girl I really don’t want to be.

I also struggle with a plan of action. Some people get by with ‘”softening” up the rules and some CAN have take-out or dessert in the house and not go nuts. Some people CAN have ‘just a bite’ or ‘just a few pieces of X,Y or Z’

I am the person who needs rules, guidelines, lists of how-tos and what not to dos. I am not a ‘just a little bit’ girl. I have to be full-blast, gung-ho, in it to win it.

Some may call it too extreme but I call it necessary…and frankly, I don’t care what other people think about my plans or the way I do things. Opinions are great and always welcomed in my life because you never know when a great, wonderful suggestion will pop up but when my concern for what other people think prevents me from being able to function, it is time to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I am taking my life back right now because if I don’t, then my health and well-being will only spin further out of control. How can I take care of everyone else when I cannot take care of myself? And how can I expect anyone to respect me when I cannot love myself enough to respect myself?

I celebrated my 27th birthday about a week ago and it was bittersweet. I am at such a great place in my life as far as some aspects (great boyfriend who is the love of my life, great kids that make me more proud and thankful each day, doing good in school, great family and friends) but then I am absolutely miserable in other parts of my life…

My health is just… horrible.

As a birthday present to myself, I am giving myself this year. This full year from September 6th, 2011 to August 31, 2012.

This year will be my year to make my life fabulous. I am taking my life back and I am in control. I am taking control of my health and fitness and that is FINAL.

Fake it ‘til you make it!

I am taking control of this situation here and now, taking the bull by the horns and running like the wind.

My first step was decided on my ride home from work at midnight.

This pretty little thang and I had a date.

It is amazing how the world makes so much more sense when my feet are pressed into that mat.

Exercise OnDemand ‘Zen in Your Den’

20 minutes of refocusing and realizing I belong on that mat.

Yoga makes me happy  

and this lady rocks.

After I was done ‘zenning in my den’, I grabbed some nice, cold wah-ta (you may call it water) and my computer…

took a seat and started typing.

 

My plan is not complete and I don’t think it ever will be…plans are usually ever-changing…especially plans based around health and fitness.

What I have so far:

27th Year Plan

*Absolutely NO take-out, fast food, pit stops…etc. NONE (my #1 weakness!)

*Eliminate alcohol consumption for one month (to kick-start my plan)

*Do at least 20 minutes of yoga/deep stretching daily

*Have at least one salad each day

*Use the crap out of my school’s fitness center (its free!!!)

*Find a race, train for it and rock it’s freaking face off!!!!

I need sleep. <3

Slacker

I am on the end slope of a seven day stay-cation. I was sure my week off was going to be full of 5k advancement, yoga and fresh, clean eats.

Yeah, not so much.  

I didn’t run a single day since Monday. I never did any additional workouts, yoga, elliptical.

…and my eating has been catastrophic.

Even my water intake has suffered.

Grrrrrface.

As mad at myself as I can be, sulking won’t help me. Feeling bad about myself won’t get my body fit and healthy.

I fell back into the routine of “Oh I’ll start tomorrow…oh tomorrow is my restart”

Instead, I am going to try something new.

I am just going to start kicking a$$ today.

Starting with the onehundred push ups challenge.

 

 

Upper body strength is something women usually struggle with and I am no exception. I just dream of rocking some killer arms and shoulders. I also dream of rocking a pull up too (something I have never done)

The challenge starts with an initial test which will determine what level you are at to begin…then provides a 3-day a week training routine that lasts for 6 weeks. According to the 100 push up challenge, if you stick to the plan, you should be able to rock out 100 pushups in a row.

Now wouldn’t that make me a bad ass??!!

Haha… or at least stronger and definitely be an awesome goal to accomplish!

And while I am in Rome, I also thought an Ab challenge would be fun.

 

 

The twohundred sit up challenge is the same concept as the push up challenge but with sit ups…or crunches actually.

 

I am going to complete the “Initial Test” for both challenges tonight and start on the “Day 1” tomorrow after my early ass run.

Today, we got outside and headed to the park in the worst heat ever. I packed up the water pitcher with icy cold H2O and some snacks, got the soccer balls & frisbees and hit the road (for the 30 second drive to the park)

We did about a 25 minute romp in the kite field until we called it “too hot to handle anymore” It seems like no matter how hydrated I try to stay, I always end up with a heat hangover headache.  

Well I have a challenge to start!

<3 Morgan

Cover me in ice cream.

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